‘GoT’s Maisie Williams, 22, Says She Used To ‘Hate’ Herself & Thought About Suicide: I Was ‘Very Unhappy’

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Whereas issues could have appeared nice on the surface for the ‘Sport of Thrones’ star, Maisie Williams undoubtedly went by means of a darkish interval in her life that she just lately opened up about.

Maisie Williams, 22, talked a couple of time frame a number of years in the past through which she had suicidal ideas. Maisie opened as much as Lewis Howes in an hour-long interview, and the Arya Stark actress was really susceptible. Maisie revealed that she suffers with anxiousness and has had “quite a lot of overwhelming emotions of probably not eager to be right here.” The star mentioned the darkish ideas and unfavorable emotions began when she was round 15 years outdated, which might have been round one yr into Sport of Thrones.

“I used to inform myself ‘I hate myself,’ like day by day, I’d say outwardly to myself,” the younger star mentioned. “It began simply in my head and I’d consider one thing and cringe and really feel disenchanted and I’d be like, ‘I hate myself.’ After which it began getting worse and worse and worse till like typically I’d be with folks and they might be speaking and I’d say quietly, ‘I hate myself,’ after which folks could be like, ‘What?’ and I’m like, ‘Nothing sorry,’ and it’s simply trigger ideas in my head had been getting so overwhelming that I’d simply say it out loud and never understand that I’d finished it.” Maisie additionally mentioned that she struggles with anxiousness and he or she has gone to remedy and been on medicine to cope with it. She mentioned she hasn’t let anxiousness cease her from “doing [things like] a Ted Speak.” She mentioned that she nonetheless did a play, regardless of her anxiousness – “I And You” in London in 2018.

Maisie continued, “I felt very negatively about myself [during that darker time]. I used to be ready for one thing on the surface world to vary and it was by no means actually going to. So I feel it was vital for me to search out peace inside myself.” Maisie mentioned, “I’d punish myself for being profitable.”

“It undoubtedly hit all-time low earlier than I received to the place I’m now. We might not have had this dialog a yr in the past.” Maisie described that one yr in the past she was in a relationship, through which she wasn’t “prepared” to like one other particular person. She recounted that after that relationship ended, she went on a “self-destructive path.” Maisie mentioned, “I used to be simply dead-set on being self-destructive – I by no means actually had an excellent relationship with substances anyway. After which it simply all began to kind of come out in these few months. And I simply received very, very unhappy. And sure I had quite a lot of overwhelming emotions of probably not eager to be right here.”

From there, Maisie went on medicine that she described as “very numbing,” which she was on throughout the closing celebration for the Sport of Thrones eighth and final season. She mentioned, “I didn’t really feel anxious however then I by no means actually felt something. Everybody round me is sobbing and crying and hugging and we’re taking a look at footage of us […] and I simply couldn’t for the lifetime of me really feel a factor. Actually nothing. Was simply floating by means of these previous couple of months of the bathe. And yeah I feel after I did begin to kind of deliver myself out of that, I simply began to like myself I feel. And now I wouldn’t dream of telling myself that I hate myself. It makes me so unhappy to suppose that I used to be like that as a result of all the things is so great now.”

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